“I love my country, but it does not love me back”: Queer (inner) emigration narratives in Kazakhstan and Russia

This article reflects the views of queer people who have not left their home country, and aims to understand how the (im)possibility of emigration impacts queer post-Soviet identities, narratives and everyday life. It is based on two studies: a biographical interview study conducted in Russia, and one conducted in Kazakhstan using in-depth narrative interviews. As a result of the high rate of homophobia, queer people from both countries contemplate emigrating to the West. According to our findings, the West is imagined as an ‘ideal place’. For some queer people, it is the only place they can imagine living in the future, while for others the plan is hypothetical. The findings reveal the effects of this potentiality of emigration on the life and relationships of queer participants. For queer people who want to leave but are unable to do so due to practical obstacles or a lack of resources, inner emigration appears to serve as a survival strategy in managing to endure a reality that is difficult to tolerate. The paper uses postcolonial optics to explore the complex relationship between Kazakhstan, Russia, and the West, and to consider the intersection of national, gender and sexual identities.