This article investigates what is underlined, enunciated or perhaps left out of conversations about the effects of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict upon social relations and intimacy in the occupied Palestinian territories. My emphasis is how this is experienced by Palestinian women who are widows and mothers of the so-called martyrs as well as wives of men who are incarcerated in Israel due to political activism. Ethnographically the article is anchored in a series of fieldworks between 2004 and 2011 carried out with an emphasis on the configuration of affect around the struggle for a Palestinian state and the human costs of that struggle. The analytical aim of the article, then, is to decipher the ways in which feelings of loss are verbalised and configured across personal and political spheres around the women who are related to the so-called heroic men, deceased or detained due to their political engagement. The objective is to elucidate the feelings that can be contained in talk about loss with the aim of a broader discussion of those forms of affect that necessarily have to remain unspoken in order to support the ongoing struggle for Palestinian statehood.